28 April 2007

Dave, You're Going Nuts.

Dialogue with a Homeless Man:
Me: Hey, here's some change.
Him: No thanks. I don't really need it.
Me: Really?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Well, take it anyway. You need it more than I do.
Him: No.
Me: Take it. At least buy yourself a new pair of gloves.
Him: I don't really need any gloves. You can have mine if you want.
Me: Why would I want your gloves? They don't even have fingertips any more.
Him: Shoot.
Me: What?
Him: You know what, I've go to go.
Me: What?
Him: I've got to go to the bank.
Me: Why do you need to go to the bank?
Him: I need to check my account balance.
Me: Just take the money, already.
Him: You don't understand.
Me: Understand what? That you're nuts?
Him: No. This gypsy cursed me once.
Me: And that's why you're homeless.
Him: I guess, in a manner of speaking.
Me: A gypsy cursed you and now you're homeless.
Him: She made me immortal. I put all my money in a high-yield savings account and went out to the streets. 5.04%APY.
Me: I've got to go.
Him: You want me to prove it? Here, I'll jump the roof of this building. It's like, what, a hundred feet?
Me: No, please, I really just want to go now.
Him: It'll just take a minute. Only a minute, come on.
Me: Ugh.
Him: Ok, hold on a second.
Me: ...
Him: You see me?
Me: Yeah. You really don't have to do this. I believe you already. Just come back down here.
Him: Ready?
Me: Just come down.
Him: Here goes!
Me: Wow.
Him: Pretty cool, huh?
Me: I must be going insane.
Him: You're not. At least not like Dave.
Me: Yeah, Dave.
Dave: Shut up, you guys.

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